Shuffle Grand Prix | Review

Shuffle Grand Prix | Review

I loved Mario Kart, just like most of you do. But, I always got bummed out when there was no electricity around to get my Kart on. For example, you and your family are camping and the tensions of the wilderness are getting to you. Your wife mocked your inability to make a fire the first time, the second time…heck even the fifth. But you got it. Your kids keep fighting because they don’t have cell reception and rag on you that you are just too old to understand. 

This is where you would normally turn on the Switch and set down to school them in some Mario Kart. Take out your frustrations virtually in the digital world. With no electricity, you start to panic. You start to wonder if the Dahlmer party was on to something. You start to rationalize it to yourself…people go missing in the wilderness all the time. 

But the happy ukelele music slowly gets louder. A fluffy white unicorn gallops swiftly by you. You lock eyes with it as it passes. Its gaze somehow registers with you that it wants you to follow it. You turn swiftly to see it run around the tent toward the Mini Van. Oh, you lost sight of it…but all hope is not lost. It left a trail rainbow behind it.

 You start following the rainbow and it leads to the trunk. And there you see it, the answer to your prayers. No, not a Predator 6500 generator to power your Switch. You found a copy of Shuffle Grand Prix by Bicycle…yeah that’s right, the people that make playing cards. 

The feeling of happiness showers over you. As you start to prepare your strategy on how you are going to take your family down, you here a majestical sound from behind you. As you whip around you catch a glimpse of the mythical horned creature as he bolts off farting a rainbow behind him. 

You think to yourself that this is a truly magical moment. But then you remember that it is probably just the effects of that killer Purple Sticky Punch that you got from your uncle Izzy. No worries though…because what is truly magical is this the fun you will have with friends and family while playing Shuffle Grand Prix…

How does it work? Like magic...

You are more than likely wondering by now “Would vanilla ice cream and mayo, really taste good on pancakes?!?! . Hell yes, but what you should be wondering is “What is Shuffle Grand Prix all about?“. Your goal is to have the furthest distance traveled by the time the distance deck is exhausted. 

Shuffle Grand Prix is a card racing game. And I guess that wraps it up. Thank you for…oh…you want more? I’ll give you more!

Each player (2-4) gets to draft a driver and co-pilot. Each one will bring their own “spin” to the game in the way of their unique power-ups. Your goal is to have the furthest distance traveled by the time the distance deck is exhausted. Players will use their ability cards to either give themselves the advantage, set a trap or cause a negative effect on an opponent. 

The Big Reveal

As you sit there playing Shuffle Grand Prix with your family, having won 6 out 6 games, you look around at the peaceful wooded setting. Your focus is brought back to the game before as you hear the laughter of your wife and kids.  The same wife and kids you thought abought “disappearing” earlier. You chuckle to yourself. It’s amazing how fun and fast-paced games like this can bring excitement and fun to any situation. You lean across the table and hug your wife and tell her you would recommend this game to anyone. 

She blankly stares at you…her pupils widen and engulf her entire eye. Her orbital socket now resembles the dark depths of an abandoned well. You hear a smashing in the woods from behind you. Before you can turn around the lifeless mass before you, that was your wife just moments ago, lunges at you. You fall back onto the dead leaves and sticks that litter the ground as she attacks. As you can feel the last breath exit your body, the crashing in the woods grows louder…closer…thunderus even. As your vision is nearly fully dark…a flash of white followed by all the colors of the rainbow streak by. You make out a solid thud and you feel as your now free. You try to sit up, but you are in great pain. As your vision starts to return…you see the Unicorn walking back up to you. He saved you.

He slowly approaches you and leans his head down to yours. You feel a magical connection. He starts to lick you…a lot…and it’s really wet. You hear your mother screaming in the distance. What’s going on? Out of nowhere, you are covered in hot boiling water. Your eyes shoot open. Your cousin’s dog is licking you feverishly. You look around in confusion. You see all your family and friends laughing at you. You start to realize that all of it never happened. Uncle Izzy was over and laughs. He says, ” Told you not to drink tequila after smoking that stuff, you done went and peed yourself, idiot!” You jump up and ask if anyone wants to play  Shuffle Grand Prix. Everyone excitedly agreed. You know this would distract everyone from your poor life choices. As you walk to the table you hear a knock at the door. You say you will get it…probably the pizza guy. As you fling open the door you are surprised and excited to see your wife…until you remembered…she died three years ago on a camping trip…

So yeah get Shuffle Grand Prix, it is a fun fast-paced game that will keep the whole family entertained. Happy Halloween!

Thank you for reading

GamerDad 181 Shyamalan

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